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I helgen har jag . . .

Måndag morgon. 
       

Since I found this version of Marley's "Three Little Birds," I have listened to it ten times a day.

Hummed, digged, danced, sang.

It simply makes me feel Good.

And I simply like things that do.

Good Morning!

Jag: Vad gör du idag? Vill du gå en långis?

Lina: Ja det vill jag. Vart?

Jag: Först till Skopunkten, nerom stan o hem?

Lina: Ok. När?

Jag: Måste duscha bara. Tre kvart?

Lina: Säg en timme...

Jag: Är hos dig om en timme.

Tänk så okomplicerad en solig lördagsmorgon kan vara.

   
    

           
Saturday I spent with mom on a fair for alternative treatments here in Kristianstad. Most of the tables offered suspicious healing methods.  

• One woman tried to sell us magic rocks; she had a wide range of shining little beauties which were supposed to heal everything from nervousness to bad breath. 
• One man healed peoples lungs by blowing through a huge Aboriginal horn pointed at their back.
• A man and a woman worked together. They healed people by placing large copper bowls on their bodies and then brushing against the inside of the bowls with a big rubber club. During the session, they both closed their eyes and mumbled strange words. 

Mom and I went for the touching treatments. She got a session of Zone Therapy and I got Thai Massage. Apart from the awkwardness of taking my clothes off in front of strange people and showing my ugliest (but most comfortable) bra, it was heavenly.
          
          

       
The stranded whale on the massage table equals me.

  
I rarely get presents outside birthdays or Christmases. But a couple of days ago it happened.
  
When I went to pick the package up at the post office, the whole room smelled like Texan style dried, smoked hot peppers.
   
And sure enough. That is what it was.

Loads of it too.
   
Now my fridge smells, my kitchen smells, and my food tastes.
   
I am in heaven.

Anyone who ever lived with a cat knows they hold the answers to all big questions in life. Schmaltz is no exception. Here are his guidelines to reach a happy and healthy life.

Never, ever rush.
Stress doesn't only cause sickness and anxiety; it also doesn't feel good. Give yourself plenty of time on your journey through life. If you stumble upon a nice looking spot; don't forsake the opportunity to sit (or lay) down for a moment.




Stretch often.
Your body is the temple of your soul, and taking care of it should be your highest priority. Make sure to stretch before and after every nap...




... and work every muscle in your body.




Sun is therapy.
Take every chance you can to enjoy a sunny day, even if it's through the glass of a window. Light makes us happier. Why not take a nap, bathing in sunlight?




Entertain your brain.
Spend some time every day to think about things that make you happy. It's easy getting carried away with all the "have-tos", and all the seriousness in our world, but we also need to give the head quarter a break every so often. Take a time-out, lay back and imagine a big can of fresh tuna.




Don't be afraid to put on your charm.
Sometimes life is too much about interacting with others. To make it easier you need to develop a set of pretty faces and convincing gestures. When you want to seduce someone, let them see you from your best angle.




Delegate
The secret of not exhausting yourself is to lay some of your burdens on others. Make someone else rub your belly and tickle your chin, and you don't even have to move.




Use your senses selectively.
When someone says something you don't want to listen to, act like you didn't hear. When someone wants to show you something you don't want to see, pretend to be asleep.




Refuse to be ignored.
However, if you want someone to listen to you; you need to make yourself un-ignoreble. Get close up and keep eye contact.




Pick your fights.
Don't let just anyone pass through your territory without letting them know they offended you. Stand up for yourself; raise a paw and speak your mind.




Allow yourself to change your mind.
If you, in the middle of a cuddling moment, all of a sudden feel like wrestling instead; it's OK. Just attack the hand that's petting you.




Chillax
The goal, though, is to take it easy as often as you possibly can. Claim your right to at least one nap per hour. If you need a tutor; get a cat.

 
  
Summer means eating as many fresh from the field strawberries as you want :-)